I feel like I need to do a bit of housekeeping and clean up a few details today.
1. The wet mattress...
...that I mentioned last week is now dry and we've been sleeping on it for a few days - yay. It's a bit rock-like, unfortunately though. We got the top cushion layer fixed because it had sunk too much (for the second time), so Andrew upgraded it to a medium density cushion. It feels like we've gone from a two to an eight on the hardness scale - hopefully it'll soften soon. You've gotta give these things time, I know.
2. An unprocessed solution (from Day 1's post)
Okay, so my emotions about infertility are backed up. I've realised it's not because of unprocessed emotion, but an unprocessed solution.
This writing is the solution. It's processing everything. I can feel myself getting lighter.
For years I've known I've needed to write my thoughts down in some order and structure to get it all out of my head. I've been doing it for more than a year and have about twenty topics typed and printed out and in the cupboard. I was doing what I needed to do, but it wasn't happening fast enough and everything was still affecting me. Thus this writing solution. Good job, Lord. You knew.
I think that's really key:
Maybe it's not unprocessed emotion, but an unprocessed solution.
I just wanted to pull that concept out and highlight it again here. It's certainly been a big one for me.
3. I'm talking to you about your stuff...
...as well as talking to you about my stuff because we all have stuff, and maybe my stuff will help you sort out your stuff.
I know I've surfed the net over the years to find information and stories that would help me. I'm putting my stuff out there, so maybe it might help someone else. I know how one piece of information - one thing, one photo - can change everything.
One specific example is in relation to my scrapbooking.
I wasn't scrapbooking for a while there because I just didn't want to do it. I had too many roadblocks and didn't know what the solution was. I just left it and did other things. I knew an answer would come at some point. It did about a year later.
The biggest thing was that my process felt complicated, annoying and cumbersome. I also didn't have a dedicated place to scrap. I'd always scrapped at the dining room table, but that wasn't working anymore.
Two things changed everything.
Becky Higgins' Project Life system and a photo I saw on Ali Edwards' blog.
I bought Project Life because it was the full kit at the time (you buy it now in parts and pieces). Google the whole thing if you're not sure what it is - it's a great system and can be used in a lot of different ways. I've linked you over to her front page - there's a video explaining it. Photo Continental is getting it in when it ships. Anyway, I bought the kit to see if it'd work for me.
While I was waiting for it to come, I was reading Ali Edwards' blog one day and got stopped in my tracks. She showed a photo of her album out on her bench and immediately I knew I had to have my album out where I could see it! Oh yes!
Then it started...I claimed our blue living room cabinet, repositioned it under the lights and started scrapping standing up! Much scrapping ensued and I've been happy ever since.
One photo - Ali's photo, changed everything for me.
Maybe one thing I say will change something for you. That's my hope.
4. And that's it.