05 May 2013

30 Days - Day 5 - The List and Knowing What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

What do you do when you don't know what to do?

You just keep moving.

You just keep doing what you know to do.

You try to anyway, unless you're me, and you roll your eyes at the list as you walk by it every day.

You see I have this list called, "What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do" on the inside of my wardrobe door. It's been there for years. Of course I go into the wardrobe every day to get dressed and I see it.

That was kinda the point of putting it there, but I've sniffed at it many, many times over the years as I've walked by. I couldn't even get passed the Grumble! I'd roll my eyes and walk on. Whatever.

I was watching Joyce Meyer years ago and she was talking about "What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do" and I thought, This is something I really want to hear. 

Hang on a minute, I'll do a search on her site and see if anything related to it comes up.

Okay, it didn't, but these three topics did.

Get Out of Your Mess and Start Living Your Life

Do Yourself a Favour...Forgive


Hand of Hope (which is their missions arm)

Pretty telling, actually.

Well, what do you do when you don't know what to do? As those three topics suggest, you become pro-active in helping yourself and then go help someone else. 

Pretty simple when you think about it, really.

Yeah, not.

I know how hard it is to try and help yourself when you just don't know how, and you just don't know what to do. That's not completely true, though, I knew some of the hows, I just didn't want to do them.

I didn't want to eat right.

I didn't want to exercise.

I didn't want to spend time reading my Bible.

I didn't want to analyse things and think about how I was acting and what I was doing.

I just wanted to be left alone, so I could escape and not think about anything. It was all too much too deal with and I didn't want to deal with it any way.

Did that help? For a while.

Did it help in the long run? Nup. Made things worse. So dumb, but that's the reality of being a human sometimes!

Over the years I did do those things and I did them a lot. But there were periods where I didn't do them at all and I knew it. It made me feel even more guilty and made everything feel worse. I guess I had no control over the big things, so I couldn't be bothered having control over the little things. Like, who cares in the end, really, I'm just going to sit here and watch this until bedtime, so I can go to sleep and not think about it any more.

You know that vicious cycle of trying to get through and not helping yourself, trying to get through but not helping yourself, trying to get through but not helping yourself. You're constantly exhausted, you've got no energy to do anything and the cycle continues.

Been there? Know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, it's not great, is it?


Anyway, back to the links that came up above. I clicked through all of them to check them out. The first - Get Out of Your Mess and Start Living Your Life - was a short video with a short article. The second - Do Yourself a Favour...Forgive - was a book suggestion, and the third - Hand of Hope - was information about their mission ministry.

The Get Out of Your Mess one is the one I want to talk about. I've heard Joyce tell the donkey story before - it's a good little video (2 mins) and worth watching.

I really like the article at the bottom:

"Every one of us has problems, some worse than others. And we all struggle to get victory over some issues or circumstances in our lives. We need a miracle to get over them. So what do you do when you need a miracle?
You wiggle.
Remember the old donkey stuck in the pit.  When his owner tried to bury him, he persevered in wiggling to shake off the dirt that was thrown on his back, stepped on it after each wiggle, and eventually walked right out of his pit. The same can happen for us.
But we gotta wiggle!
“Wiggling” simply means taking responsibility to obey God. The bottom line is that whatever your problem is, the way to fix it is to do whatever God tells you to do.
(And here is my favourite paragraph)
The thing we have to get is that while God wants to help us, there’s a part only we can do to get our breakthrough. God will give us the ability to do our part, but we still have to make the decision to obey God. We have to “get up on the inside,” take responsibility for our choices, and have a good attitude while we’re doing what we are supposed to.
It may not be easy – in fact, a lot of the time it’s just hard. But every time we do what’s right especially when its hard, we make progress in our relationship with God and get closer to our miracle. And we can do it.
Remember that the promises of God are for “whosoever will.”  That means you!
This article is taken from Joyce's teaching from Love Life Women's Conference 2011."
There is a part that only we can do to get our breakthrough.

There is a part that only we can do to get our breakthrough.

There is a part that only we can do to get our breakthrough.

There is a part that only I can do to get my breakthrough.

There is a part that only I can do to get my breakthrough.

Only me. Not Andrew, not any one else. Only me. Only I'm required to do this 30 days of writing. No one else.

It's for me, for my situation, and it's my solution...for now. I don't know if it's the whole solution, but it's the solution for now.

Whenever any one in the Bible got a miracle, they always had to do something. Come through the ceiling on a mat, get out of the boat, touch the hem of His garment, put mud in their eyes...something on the part of the patient had to be actioned before the Healer healed.


So they were involved in the healing!

So they were a part of it.

To show the Lord they were willing to trust Him by doing something physically first.

Which in turn showed them where their faith was at. I mean, God knows if we have faith or not, but do we?

"Of course I do."

God: "Do this."

"I'm not doing that, I don't know if it'll work. What do I have to do that for?"

That's not faith, that's doubt. It's hard, isn't it?

We certainly find out if we have any trust as soon as we're asked to do something, which is why He asks us to do something. The asking's for us, not Him!

Those miracle receivers had to trust first, do and then see their breakthrough.

We have to get things in the right order!

"I'll trust you after you heal me, Lord."

Um, no.

"I'll believe you when you show me, God."

No either. It doesn't work like that.

It's trust God first; then receive - not the other way round.

I believe God does things for us along the way, specific things, to help build our trust in Him, but the solution itself comes after trust, from us, has been activated and actioned.

My example of that is Cody. God gave me a dog, not a baby. I'll tell you more about that another time, but it still amazes me that I have a dog because I'm not a dog person. And I love that dog.

So, it's trust first, receive second.

"I trust You, Lord, for my situation and I believe that You'll bring the solution I need for it."  

That's key, key, key.

God's done a lot of miracles around the world up until now, so there's a lot out there to bolster us. He does that for a reason; to show us His power and to show us what He can do.

He just wants you to get it through your head that He can do it for YOU. 

God, you've done it for her, why can't you do it for me? Why won't you do it for me?

Lord, you made it happen for them, why not us?

Where's my miracle, Lord?

Where's my favour?

Where's my breakthrough?

Where's my healing, my baby, my husband, my job, my family?

Silence from His end, of course. He has to wait for the dust to settle and for you to finally look up.

Where's your trust?



God responds to faith that I know.

And faith that believes in Him just because of who He is, not just because of what He can do for you.

I decided long ago I was going to trust God for who He was (GOD) and not for what He could do for me (give me a baby).

Was I going to hang all my feelings about Him on Him giving me a baby, and if He didn't, I'd flick Him?

No, absolutely not.

He asked me a very important questions years ago.

I was leaving the ensuite one day after complaining about not being able to have kids and asking God to give us a baby probably. I don't remember the specifics, but I remember the question.

"Will you love Me anyway?" He said.

"Of course," was my immediate answer, but I've had to live out what that meant every day since.

I've never stopped loving Him, ever. I've been angry, mad, frustrated, upset and at my wits end with it all, but I've never stopped loving Him. Baby or no baby ain't gonna change that.

And you know what? I love Him more because He hasn't given me one (and the journey that that has taken me on).

Going through what I've been through has caused me to see Him more for who He really is. Loving, passionate, all-knowing, all-seeing, all-over-it and all-around-it. I've gotten to know Him better because we've been through a hard time together. That's good. That's precious.

Before I explain the list that I mentioned way back in the beginning there, I want to make something clear.

I am here for emotional healing, not a baby.

My issue (the thing I want God to fix) is not infertility, it's the issues with being infertile.

Back in the day I wanted Him to fix everything, of course, so we could have a family. We wanted a baby. That went on for years. Time marched on and nothing happened.

Our ages started to become a real issue and the angst doubled because of that. What's going on here, we're running out of time.

I found myself all over the place with it because the biological clock was deafening, the window was shutting and my emotions were raw. On top of that I started having doubts about wanting a family any more just because we were just getting older and feeling like we were getting passed that stage.

That's a whole new realm in itself. Wanting something for so long, not getting it and then feeling yourself changing and not wanting it any more physically, but still wanting it emotionally. And then starting to not to want it any more emotionally either. I told Andrew I could feel the desire leaving me. It made me sad and I grieved all over again.

I'm still all over the place with it, but my point is...I'm not here writing for 30 days, and expecting to get pregnant next month!

I'm here to sort through the issues of infertility - to release my backed up emotions about it - and to get myself set in the right direction, so I can get where I need to go.

Does that make sense?

I'm here for emotional healing, I want to make that clear.

Now, onto the list. The one I sniffed at until probably yesterday or the day before.

(And these are Joyce Meyer's words from that program I said I watched years ago. I typed them out and stuck 'em in my cupboard to help me stay on track)

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

Ignore your problem.

Ignore the devil because He will try to say a lot of things to you. 

Stay positive.

Be careful with what you are meditating on. Meditate on the Word. 

Keep doing what you know to do - pray, read Bible, be good to people. 

Keep moving and continue to be faithful. 

Keep believing. 

Be a blessing to someone else. 

Be thankful. 

Be willing to go to a new level of responsibility. 

(And here's the kicker)

Do not:
Find fault
Get angry
Be impatient
Be ungrateful
Be negative
Cause strife
Be unthankful
Become discouraged

"I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth."

Complain and remain, praise and be raised. 

Be thankful and give thanks. Be thankful in your heart and give thanks with your mouth. 

So, that's the list.

Makes you breathe in deeply and let out a long, slow sigh, doesn't it?

I'm going to leave it there for today. I feel like I'm done. See you tomorrow.


PS. Joyce Meyer has been of great encouragement to me over the years. She has an amazing story of faith and growing up in God as she calls it. I can see so much of what she's taught me roll out in my words as I type here.    

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